Attending social events in Nigeria is almost like a full-time job. From weddings to birthday parties, owambes to baby showers, there’s always something happening—and let’s be honest, sometimes you just don’t have the energy to show up. Enter: Nigerian excuses. These aren’t just any excuses; they’re artfully crafted reasons that somehow make perfect sense to both the dodger and the dodged.
If you’ve ever needed to escape an event without looking like the bad guy, this list is for you. Let’s break down the top 10 Nigerian excuses for dodging events—and why they almost always work.
1. “There’s Fuel Scarcity”
The GOAT of all Nigerian excuses. With fuel scarcity being an occasional national pastime, this excuse works like magic. Whether or not your car is parked right outside, people understand the struggle. No one will question why you couldn’t drive or take public transport. After all, Nigeria without fuel scarcity would be like jollof without pepper—unrealistic.
Why it works: Everyone has experienced the pain of fuel scarcity, so they can’t argue with you.
2. “I Was Stuck in Traffic”
Lagosians, in particular, have mastered this excuse. Considering that Lagos traffic can turn a 10-minute drive into a two-hour ordeal, no one will blame you for not making it. Just sprinkle in a bit of detail: “Ah, Third Mainland Bridge was something else today!” and boom—you’re free.
Why it works: Nigerian roads are unpredictable, and traffic is basically a personality trait at this point.
3. “NEPA Took Light, and I Couldn’t Iron My Clothes”
In a country where electricity can disappear faster than your data balance, this excuse hits hard. No one wants to attend an event looking wrinkled, so blaming NEPA for your absence is 100% valid. Bonus points if you throw in a line about how you didn’t want to embarrass the host by looking rough.
Why it works: Everyone knows the struggle of NEPA (or PHCN, depending on your vibe).
4. “I Had Running Stomach”
This one is a bit gross, but it’s highly effective. No one wants to argue with you or demand proof when you mention digestive issues. Just hint at food poisoning or bad water, and you’re off the hook.
Why it works: Nobody wants to hear more details about your bathroom adventures.
5. “My Aunty Came Unannounced”
Nigerians know the chaos that ensues when a relative suddenly shows up at your doorstep. Whether it’s your aunt, uncle, or distant cousin, hosting unexpected visitors takes priority over any party. Just say, “Ah, my aunty from the village just came,” and watch as people nod sympathetically.
Why it works: Surprise visits from relatives are practically a national emergency.
6. “It Started Raining Heavily”
Rain in Nigeria is a valid excuse for almost anything. Once the clouds gather and a heavy downpour starts, all plans are automatically canceled. After all, who wants to wade through flooded streets just to eat small chops?
Why it works: Nigerian rainstorms have a reputation for being dramatic and disruptive.
7. “I Slept Off”
This excuse might seem lazy, but it’s surprisingly effective. Nigerians understand how tiring life can be, especially after a long week. Just say, “I lay down for 5 minutes and the sleep carried me,” and people will understand. Add a sad emoji via WhatsApp, and you’re golden.
Why it works: Sleep deprivation is real, and most people can relate.
8. “I Didn’t See Your Invitation on Time”
Blame it on your phone, your network, or your overloaded WhatsApp. Nigerian event invitations often get lost in the endless stream of messages, so saying you didn’t see it on time is both believable and forgivable.
Why it works: Everyone has experienced the chaos of unread messages piling up.
9. “I Had a Work Deadline”
This is a favorite for office workers, freelancers, and anyone who wants to sound extra serious. Just mention a last-minute project, an angry boss, or a client breathing down your neck, and people will immediately back off.
Why it works: Nigerians respect the hustle, and they know work deadlines can be brutal.
10. “I Wasn’t Feeling Fine”
The ultimate trump card. If all else fails, pull out the health excuse. Whether it’s a “slight headache,” “body pain,” or “malaria symptoms,” this excuse works every time. Just don’t overdo it—keep it vague enough to avoid follow-up questions.
Why it works: Health is wealth, and no one will pressure you if you say you’re feeling unwell.
Dodging Events Like a Pro
Dodging Nigerian events isn’t just about coming up with excuses—it’s about delivering them with confidence. Whether it’s fuel scarcity, traffic, or unexpected visitors, the key is to sound believable and sprinkle in some local flavor. Remember, Nigerians understand life’s ups and downs, so your excuse doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be relatable.
Next time you’re tempted to skip an owambe or avoid a boring party, try one of these tried-and-true Nigerian excuses. Who knows? You might just get away with it… again.
Which Nigerian excuse have you used recently?
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