Strong couples can weather any storm, but some things are just insurmountable.
A happy marriage is created by two people who can truly know themselves and work towards happiness.
Sadly, the more you need love, the more hurt you’ve been and the more unfulfilled you are, the more you buy into the lie that it is your partner’s job to keep you happy. This lie can kill your marriage. Of course, there are many more lies that can creep into a marriage and cause damage: the lies we tell ourselves, the lies we tell because of shame, and the lies that hide basic betrayals that make rebuilding trust feel impossible.
“I married the wrong person.”
Many people tend to believe that when things go wrong with their partners, it simply means they married the wrong person, even when the marital challenges are minor issues that could be resolved with love and understanding.
Some people go as far as demanding for a divorce with the excuse that he/she married an unbeliever, whom they thought would become a Christian but that didn’t happen. They recall that it was a mistake but married anyways hoping it would work out. Others claim they married someone who wasn’t a good match, someone who wasn’t a good soulmate
A wrong start in marriage does not justify another wrong step. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good,” says Romans 8:28, “to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
God tells us not to be poured into the world’s mold. Instead we are to be transformed and that begins in our minds. By doing this, God will give us exactly what we need for our lives. God’s will for us is good, acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).
Here’s the key for those who are now married:Try to love, understand your spouse and work towards building a happy home without giving room for excuses and lies that can destroy your home.
“My spouse and I are incompatible.”
Incompatibility in marriage wrecks your mental peace. Your day-to-day relationship with your spouse becomes boring and uninteresting.
A lot of husbands and wives are not truly compatible when they get married but they both work towards building a happy home.
If one will respond correctly to his/her spouse’s weaknesses, then they can learn forgiveness, grace, unconditional love, mercy, humility, and brokenness.
In marriage, one should learn to be developed by responses to not only happy things, but also to difficulties. And those very difficulties include weaknesses.
If I will respond to my spouse’s shortcomings with unconditional acceptance, my love won’t be based on performance. I won’t say, “You need to live up to these expectations.” I will be able to accept my spouse, weaknesses and all. And that acceptance will swing open the door of change for not only my spouse, but also for me.
“There’s no hope for my marriage—it can’t be fixed.”
This may be the most devastating lie of all. A lot of couples end their marriages without trying harder to resolve their challenges. They believe the marriage can never be fixed.
There are many homes that couples have sat down to talk about their challenges and put effort to making it work and today they have the best marriages. There are difficult times in relationships and marriage and the way you manage the situation is an important phase because often times issues might arise that would need careful handling.
Don’t be in a haste to pack up that marriage,you can visit marriage counselors who can help you both to identify your weakness, challenges and help with ideas to overcome them.
If you begin to think there is no hope for my marriage, remember that all things are possible with God but you must learn to trace the root of the problems and resolve them.
We must combat the lies about marriage because most problems can be fixed.