Weddings are magical. They’re full of love, laughter, tears—and a colorful mix of characters who make the big day truly unforgettable. Whether it’s a small, intimate ceremony or a big, over-the-top celebration, you’ll always spot certain types of people at every wedding. Let’s dive into the guest list and meet these familiar faces:
1. The Foodie (a.k.a. Plate Collector Extraordinaire)
This person came for one reason and one reason only: the food. You’ll find them hovering near the jollof rice station, keeping a close eye on the caterers as if monitoring the stock market.
When it’s time to serve, they’re first in line, piling their plate like it’s their last meal on earth. And when the small chops come out? It’s game over. They’ll eat like they paid for the wedding themselves—and still grab a takeaway pack “for the road.”
2. The Overdressed Guest
It’s not their wedding, but you wouldn’t know it from the way they’re dressed. These guests show up in outfits that could blind a small village. Sequins, feathers, 6-inch heels—you name it.
Their goal? To outshine the bride. Every outfit change is dramatic, and their Instagram stories are filled with slow-motion videos of them strutting around like they own the place.
3. The Aunty Who Won’t Stop Asking When You’re Getting Married
She spotted you the moment you walked in, and now there’s no escape. Before you’ve even had a chance to sit down, she’s already asking, “So, when are we coming to eat your rice?”
You try to dodge the question with a laugh, but she’s relentless. By the end of the night, you’ve heard every lecture on marriage, from “biological clocks” to “all your mates are married, oh!”
4. The Dancefloor King/Queen
Every wedding has that one person who takes over the dancefloor like it’s their personal concert. They know all the latest dance moves, and they’re not afraid to show them off. Shaku shaku, zanku, legwork—they’re giving you a full choreography.
It doesn’t matter what song is playing—they’ll dance with the same energy, whether it’s amapiano beats or the church choir’s recessional hymn.
5. The Crying Bridesmaid
You’d think she was the one getting married with the way she’s bawling her eyes out. From the moment the bride walks down the aisle, the tears start flowing, and they don’t stop.
By the end of the ceremony, her makeup is ruined, her nose is red, and she’s clutching tissues like her life depends on it. It’s sweet—until she starts sobbing loudly during the vows.
6. The Photographer Who Won’t Let You Rest
This is the person who shows up with a camera (or just their phone) and turns into a professional photographer overnight. They’re snapping pictures of everything—people, decorations, even the food before it’s served.
They’ll shout, “Smile! Do peace sign! One more picture!” and make you pose for 20 minutes while they try to find the perfect angle. You’re guaranteed to see your sweaty, tired face all over Instagram the next day.
7. The Couple Who Won’t Leave the Buffet Alone
Ah, yes. The dynamic duo who think the buffet is a playground. They’ll go back for seconds, thirds, and fourths like they’re on a mission. They’ve tried everything on the menu—and somehow, they’re still not full.
When the caterers bring out extra small chops, they swoop in like eagles and hoard them like treasure. You’ll hear them whispering, “Let’s pack some more before they finish.”
Bonus: The Bride and Groom, Who Are Just Trying to Survive the Day
Let’s not forget the main stars of the day—the bride and groom. They’re smiling, posing, and shaking hands with so many guests they’ve probably lost track of who’s who.
By the end of the reception, they’re exhausted, hungry (because they didn’t even get to eat), and just trying to make it through without collapsing. But hey, they’re married—and that’s all that matters.
Weddings are a rollercoaster of emotions, chaos, and unforgettable moments. And whether you’re the foodie, the dancer, or the one dodging Aunties’ questions, one thing’s for sure: you’ll leave with a full stomach, sore feet, and a whole lot of hilarious memories.