Whether it is that job, that career goal, that degree, that relationship you are in–stop thinking you are the lower person. For me, the goal is to always be the best I can and be satisfied with it. Be honest with yourself, there is only so much you can do; I mean, we all want to be super human, at the end we are only human. Below are a few tips to bring you back from the verge of emotional collapse.
You will pass through this stage
This feeling isn’t limited to any gender, age or situation. You might be someone who’s frustrated for not getting the love of their life even though you’re reaching 30. You might be someone who’s starting out for a new job and have no idea how your life went from being a kid growing up in Otuoke to leaving in Aso Villa. It can literally be anything which harms your self-esteem.
If you can’t fully comprehend this feeling because it seems like it’s ‘not that big of a deal’, then the first thing you should do is to confront this feeling once and for all. Are you good enough or are you not? If you feel like you aren’t, then realise that the only way you’ll get better is to be vocal about it with someone, whoever you like, just make sure that it’s someone whom you know will understand it to at least some degree.
Stop doubting yourself or being in denial
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It is not just a child’s thing to be demoralized. I see adults who are going through the exact same thing. It’s real and it’s sad. I’m fine now, sure, but I’ve actually felt what you do and whether it was on a smaller scale or not, I understand. Believe it or not, I didn’t go back to being fine again by hearing people telling me that I was amazing or anything. I went back to being fine by actually expressing how I felt.
Like I said, there are no words to express it but some words do come close to how it feels and I used all of them! However, I poured my heart out and let everything that I did get understood out in words that could be used to explain it. I put it in writing most times though. It helped me.
You would never understand why
It might sound like it’s only related to activities and sports etc. but it can be many situations which may include these as well. Anyone who’s never felt this way might be thinking that this isn’t a big deal and that the person should just be more confident or something. I am genuinely happy for anyone who has never felt that way but the truth is that you have no idea what it’s like. I guess I can’t really explain it that well in words so people might feel like it’s petty but honestly, no one can ever explain it in words that would clearly indicate how they’re feeling because no such words have been introduced yet.
What happened with me was basically that I was still in school at the time and my friends and I just got into the phase where we wanted everything around us to be ‘cool’. It started off harmlessly but it soon escalated and I found myself unable to keep up with everyone else which made me feel, you guessed it, not good enough. It sounds like a very childish and immature thing but in that moment, it really did shatter my self-confidence because I couldn’t be as ‘cool’ as they were.
Feel free to rant below, I am listening.