I really never saw a need to write a 400-word post about my take, from what we’ve been presented with, on the Tiwa Savage / Tee Billz saga and here’s the reason.
In Nigeria, when you express an opinion about how you feel someone should have done something differently, the question that you get thrown at you is, ‘Have you done… before?’
Say you think a film is crappy and you’re asked,’ Have you ever made a film before?’ Say you think Buhari could have handled the Fulani herdsmen – or as Chris Ogunlowo jokingly put it, kingsmen – situation a bit better, they ask, “Have you ever been president of a country?’ The most annoying? Say a footballer should have done something differently on the pitch and you get the did you ever play football question.
And knowing that I have never been married, I thought it was best to keep my lengthy post to myself. Another reason is, Tiwa and TJ don’t know who I am. Even if they do, what are the chances my post changes their already made-up minds? Next to nil!
Thirdly, many wise fellas have decided to see this saga as a man vs woman who-is-better-and-superior-and-guilty contest. Meaning if as a man, I say that I think Tiwa was foolish, it automatically means I’m anti-woman-worldwide.
Somehow though, I still went ahead to post something on my Facebook wall. And BAM! I suddenly become ‘one of them.’
But I’m not, and here’s why.
There are ALWAYS three sides to a story, especially one that happens to two people or groups. There’s SIDE A, SIDE B and THE TRUTH. In this case, Tee Billz’s Instagram noise; Tiwa Savage’s interview and the truth. This doesn’t mean, however, that I think Tiwa’s side was all lies. Not a chance. She looked hurt. It could also be a script. I don’t care. But, whatever pity I was going – or not going – to feel for her evaporated after two points in the interview.
First was when she admitted to seeing signs of who her husband really was but still going ahead to marry him and having one Dubai of a wedding.
This is my grouse with some people these days. You meet this person. You get close. You get to the point where you begin to think of spending a lifetime together. You see they have monstrous traits.
Traits you CANNOT live with, but because you are in love or for some other reason, you still go ahead and marry him. You know you’re taking one helluva massive risk but you still go ahead and make one helluva noise in the name of a wedding. I don’t get.
She said TJ hustled for her. So, that’s enough reason? You hustle for your workplace, doesn’t mean your boss would jump at the chance to marry you. You’re only doing your job. Or correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t artist management TJ’s job before he met Tiwa? So?
She also said there was the pressure of her age. Another twisted mentality that is running amok among women these days. You’re 40 and not married, and so fucking what? “Society will mock me!” Are you marrying for society?
I can guarantee Tiwa that, of the several thousands who watched her interview yesterday, if there are any of them who didn’t have a sound sleep last night, it had nothing to do with her marital situation.
If you marry because of family or societal pressure, while you’re wallowing in your mess, they will all move on like we all will in the next few days. Some of us have already shifted focus to today’s football games across Europe. Leicester City might win the EPL title at Old Trafford tomorrow (sorry, Deoye Falade). One night of trending on Twitter is the best Nigeria can and will do for Ms. Savage.
Now, Tiwa Savage admits she might not just bother getting married again. But not after putting herself and a couple others through heart-wrenching pain.
And that, my people, is why I have no sympathy for her. Call me wicked.
By ‘Segun Odejimi