Omawumi comes across as a Decent wife and Mother; a typical Nigerian Virtuous woman that can make a Suicidal Man develop interest in life.
She presents to us the image of a woman that can manage family life and career effectively; especially in the eyes of Men who are difficult to please by their own wives. This however, isn’t totally to her advantage, as We the Nigerian people are fond of placing people on a certain pedestal of perfection with zero tolerance for their inadequacies. The thing about being presented as perfect in Nigeria is that You might find it difficult farting. After all you are a model. How can you even fart?
Omawumi was just basking in the euphoria created in her favour, until an interviewer decided to cut short her celebration. So Omawumi walked into that interview session as a mortal, but her host had other plans for her.
Having made reference to musical growth and achievements, something just had to be said to spark up controversy. It has to be a Nigerian interview. So madam is it true that your manager is the father of your child?
Omawumi did well to keep her cool and denied. There is something about a clear conscience and the way it works. Anty dem talk say you dey smoke, how you take dey manage am? Antty flared! That was it. She lost it right there.
Have you seen me smoking?
And then she walked out.
She was too conscious about the public opinion that she didn’t think for a second that the public was going to talk about the way she let her temper flare.
A person can not totally transcend the influence of his/her immediate society. Society has a way of influencing us all.
Nigerians are Judgmental and very defensive. We judge people a lot. It is for this that hypocrisy thrives. Nobody wants to be the sacrificial lamb for criticism. Its in us. Since we all possess that trait of being judgmental, we become defensive when people pry into our personal failings. We know what we do to others when they fail, so we become defensive when the ball falls in our court. This is exactly what Omawumi displayed. Was she expecting the interviewer to pat her back and say Ezigbo Nwanyi mara mma and then the interview will be over?
When the issue of paternity was raised, she dismissed it calmly as a rumour. Why didn’t she dismiss the second one? Why get worked up?
What was she trying to protect? Pet sins are sins we fight so hard to protect. Smoking and drinking are her private issues. She answered the first question, which I even consider more harmful and then took the second question personal.
Just like saying, Victor are you crazy? I am not crazy. Simple. No point taking it personal. Nobody is out to tarnish her image. She almost tarnished it with her lack of professionalism. She allowed the Nigerian factor to disable her reasoning. Who really cares?
There is so much suffering in Nigeria. That is why rumour and gossip sells fast. People have to find relief through something. She should have understand that simple situation.
Extreme self consciousness has a way of making you see things that are not there. If she had paused for second, she would have realised that we really don’t care. Male singers smoke and drink and we still buy their music. Their foreign counterparts do same and we still listen to them. I don’t know how bad Eminem is when it comes to smoking but I love listening to him. You know why? His music is separate from him. Forget our hypocrisy in this country. If you keep looking at Nigerians and their lies and Judgmental nature you won’t amount to any meaningful thing. You have to learn to ignore certain things, especially when you know that they are part of us. Maheeda shows boobs and vagina and we condemn her openly, but still addicted to any site where her nudes can be viewed.
Do you know how many Nigerian men that masturbate with her nudes? Nicky Minaj, Kim Kardashian and their likes. Do you know how many that watch porn? Wisdom is when you understand the society you live in and decide that it won’t run you mad.
Omawumi was not thinking along these lines. It is her private life. She should have just denied it, accepted , or just say that it is her private life and it really doesn’t concern the public. It is like asking her if she enjoys giving her husband a BJ; of course that is also personal.
Nobody will beat her up. She is not a pastor. Nigerian Men and Women consume alcohol. We never saw her as our pastor. Even a pastor is human. Btw! Smoking and drinking isn’t a weakness. It is because she already saw it as a weakness based on what society says. In Nigeria, a Woman that was raped and had a child becomes scared of admitting that she is a single mother for fear of what people would. Damn what people would say abeg.
To further buttress my point, Christian Oyakhilome had a marital issue that bothered around divorce, infidelity and neglect. We expected him to tell us if he was guilty of adultery or not, instead he began to give long sermons. He became defensive and began to tell us things like: being a pastor’s wife doesn’t mean you are called to ministry’, I didn’t start my ministry with my wife’, I already set my sail and she joined me’. Bros just tell us in clear terms. Did you commit adultery? He didn’t answer. I was disappointed in him. Israel Houghton the gospel singer sometime ago came out of the closet and told us that he has been living in adultery. That is it. No need to be defensive, except you are from Nigeria, where you have to sustain the illusion of righteousness.
My personal thought is that Omawumi smokes and drinks but is afraid of what people would say about it. what she doesn’t know is that we really don’t care. We just talk about anything until something else comes up and the previous issue becomes history.
So dear Omawumi, you had no reason to throw tantrums. Whether you smoke and drink or not, we love you as you are. Just be yourself.
Copyright, Victor Ibeh 2016
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