This piece was inspired by an article which surfaced on the blogsphere yesterday titled “Thinking About The Boy That Got Away..” by @Nellylaoni read it here -> https://goo.gl/luKI6J
While this is not an attack on Feminism (belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities) or any of its variation in views and accepted belief(s), men have mostly been seen as the oppressing gender, a race of oppressors. A gender wielding so much power without respect for the other –women- but in the real sense of it, are men such a menace to the female folks? Or has the faults of a few men over generation been generalized on all men.
Should we –both men and women- go on to say and believe men are the worst of both gender while ignoring the emotional, physical and mental strains a man passes through on a daily?, the sacrifice he makes on the altar of raising and providing for his family, should we go on with the double standards existing in almost all facet of discussions such as Domestic abuse –where an abused man (physically, emotionally or both) who voices out is considered weak because the society has denied him the option of expressing his feelings but a woman who does same deserves all the empathy and sympathy one could get?, where a man is the devil for retaliating?
Meanwhile research not only shows that a close number of women sexually abuse their male partners but a 30% higher rate of domestic abuse among lesbians compared to heterosexuals, where the man is made to go through loops because he’s believed to be cheating –after all, cheating is a man’s thing- meanwhile about 20% of the first born child does not belong to the husband? And remember we are presented with a society that does not recognize male rape to mention a few.
The world –women mostly- push for Gender Equality yet expect to benefit a level of favour that does not cut across the board, expect to be treated to special favours for easy passage while the male counterparts go against the grain but the man is expected to walk away after he’s been hit severally? How about the woman does not put her hands on him to start with?. Women are allowed to body-shame men, rating men based on their looks, networth and sexual prowess but a man is not allowed to do the same?.
As the article points out, “Women, (Nigerian women especially) need to stop acting like they are God’s gift to men”, they need to lose the subconscious and conscious act of manipulation and emotional blackmail they’ve picked up from generations past, strip bare, see men folks for who they are, recognise their pain and struggles and not shame them for their inadequacies which indirectly mounts a much greater pressure to succeed, provide, be upright and ultimately be the perfect gentleman.
The responsibilities hanging over a man’s shoulder, his issues and struggles need to be recognized by the society and while this is not an excuse for ill behavior, men should be seen as imperfect as the woman is excused of her transgressions too. We all need one another, to be nurtured and corrected in love and not through constant, unending nagging.