American singing sensation, Billie Eilish has revealed that she started watching “abusive” porn at 11 and that it “destroyed” her brain.
Eilish, who is now 19, made the revelation on the “The Howard Stern Show” on Monday.
The Grammy Award winner has been in the public space for a while, forged a reputation for wearing a baggy style of dress and has regularly spoken about body image and being sexualised while growing up.
The topic of pornography came up in the interview as it is referenced in a song, Male Fantasy, on her album Happier Than Ever.
She said she is now “devastated” to reflect on the impact it had on her and led her “not say no to things that were not good” when she began having sex.
“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace.
“I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11,” she revealed.
Eilish also admitted that she began watching more and more graphic types of pornography, which warped her ideas about sex and relationships.
She said it is a “real problem” that porn could skewer wider understandings of what is normal during sex, including around consent.
“It got to a point where I couldn’t watch anything else unless it was violent, I didn’t think it was attractive,” the singer admitted.
“I was a virgin. I had never done anything. And so, it led to problems … The first few times I had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” Eilish said.
She also criticised the depiction of women’s bodies and sexual experiences.
“I didn’t understand why that was a bad thing – I thought it was how you learned how to have sex.
“I was an advocate and I thought I was one of the guys and would talk about it and think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing why it was bad,” Eilish said.
She admitted watching “abusive” BDSM porn, which she says causes her to now suffer from night terrors and sleep paralysis.
“I’m so angry that porn is so loved.
“And I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was OK,” she said.