It’s that time of the year again! The IJGBs (I Just Got Back) are descending in all their splendor, fresh off international flights, armed with designer shades, exotic accents, and unending vibes. But wait—before you get swept off your feet by their stories of “in the abroad”, let’s talk strategy. Festive heartbreak is real, and if you’re not careful, you might end up as just another holiday fling they’ll ghost before the New Year.
Here are five expert tips to keep your heart intact while enjoying the holiday buzz.
1. Don’t Fall for the Accent Trap
Ah, the IJGB’s accent—smooth, polished, and often suspiciously inconsistent. One minute they’re British posh, the next they’re sprinkling in a Yankee drawl. Sure, it’s charming, but don’t let it cloud your judgment.
Pro Tip: Focus on their actions, not their “Oh, in London we don’t…” talk.
2. Beware the Over-the-Top Generosity
IJGBs have one mission: to spend naira like it’s going out of style. Lavish dates, pricey bottles at the club, and “chop anything you like” moments are their signature moves. Don’t confuse their financial confidence with emotional commitment.
Pro Tip: Enjoy the spoiling but remember: champagne doesn’t mean loyalty.
3. Ask About Their Return Ticket
This one’s important. IJGBs are notorious for conveniently “forgetting” to mention when they’re heading back to Heathrow or JFK. Some will even pretend they’re considering relocating to Nigeria for you. Spoiler: they’re not.
Pro Tip: Casually ask, “When’s your flight back?” early on. Clarity is key.
4. Resist the Pressure to Impress
IJGBs might roll up in luxury cars, talk about their exotic travels, or flaunt the latest gadgets. It’s easy to feel like you need to “measure up.” Don’t. Real connections aren’t built on who can flex harder.
Pro Tip: Stay authentic. Your local vibe is part of your charm.
5. Keep It Festive, Not Forever
Here’s the tea: for many IJGBs, December is for Detty December vibes, not long-term commitments. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people; it just means you need to protect your heart.
Pro Tip: Enjoy the fun, but don’t plan your 2024 around someone who might vanish when January hits.
IJGBs bring excitement and sparkle to the festive season, but remember: glitter isn’t gold. Stay smart, keep your guard up, and prioritize yourself. That way, you can enjoy the thrill of December without the New Year, New Heartbreak drama.
So, will you outsmart the IJGBs this year? Let us know in the comments!