It’s a new year (we know it’s March, even when it’s June, it’s still a new year), a fresh start, and one thing must change—you cannot continue doing mumu in relationships!
We’ve seen the signs: ignoring red flags like a professional traffic warden, funding someone’s lifestyle like CBN, and later coming to cry in group chats. Enough is enough! This year, we are upgrading your relationship sense.
1. Stop Replying “It’s Nothing” When It’s Clearly Something
You’re upset, your face is squeezed like an unpaid landlord, but when asked what’s wrong, you say, “It’s nothing.” A few days later, you’re sending long paragraphs and voice notes that require mobile data and patience. Speak up when something is bothering you! If not, don’t blame us when they call you too dramatic after you explode.
2. Love Is Not a Poverty Alleviation Scheme
Achalugo, dating is not federal government empowerment! You cannot be funding someone’s lifestyle when they can’t even remember your birthday. If their love language is “urgent 2K,” just know you are their ATM, not their soulmate.
3. Don’t Mistake Bare Minimum for Grand Romantic Gestures
He called you back after missing your call? “Aww, he really loves me.”
She texted first for the first time in six months? “Wow, she’s different.”
Ah, Achalugo, raise your standards! Someone doing the absolute minimum should not be treated like Romeo and Juliet. Demand consistency, effort, and a little common sense, please.
4. Stop Explaining Basic Human Decency
If you have to write an essay on why they should respect you, care for you, or treat you right, just leave the relationship and submit your essay to a journal instead.
5. No More Blind Excuses
“He’s not cheating, he’s just friendly.”
“She’s not ignoring me, she’s just busy (for three weeks).”
“My partner is just different, you won’t understand.”
Achalugo, we understand very well—it’s premium foolishness.
6. If They Don’t Post You, Stop Posting Them
This one is simple. If your partner is online flexing and posting everything but you, yet your own page is a tribute to their existence, just stop. Don’t be doing soft launch for someone who has permanently launched you into secrecy.
7. Boundaries Are Not Rude
Saying “no” is not a sin. Choosing your peace over unnecessary stress is not wickedness. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you love them less—it just means you love yourself more.
8. Don’t Let Love Make You Lose Your Destiny
In summary, love is sweet, but don’t let it turn you into a national project. If your relationship is stressing you more than Lagos traffic, press the brakes!
This year, we are dating wisely, loving responsibly, and most importantly—not doing mumu. Achalugo, are you with us or not?