Since we are in the mood of sending letters before the love fest holding on the fourteenth day in February 2015, let me do the master of rascality, Asari Dokubo, an honour, by writing one to him. I’ve chosen to write this letter in a language that the master might find comprehensible:
Bros,
I hail bros! I hope you dey bam. How business for yonda? Bros, you, na the man o! Twale! That year when you still dey run Niger Delta People’s Volunteer Force, we think say na for the people side you dey. Wosai! Na when breeze come blow, na him we find out say he be like say bros sef wan chop small inside national cake.
You chop abi you nor chop?
Bros, I hail! How far na? Which levels? As elections come dey near so, na him your face just dey enter television and every where. Every body just dey see you as you dey denge pose say na Jonathan everybody must vote for. Bros, nor do na! Nor be democracy we dey? Which kind demonstration of crase you come carry put for the matter. Why you nor allow the people choose who them go like make he rule them na?
Haba, bros! Just now now, na him I see for you YouTube for Sahara Reporters dem channel, wey you dey vibrate like blackberry curve, dey scatter mouth say, say anybody wey no vote for PDP go chop cane from you. Na wa to that matter. For my side, them say when elder begin behave like small pickin then person must be careful. Which one you nor dey self, bros? you nor go like make this country just remain gba-ga-dam for ground like this? Abi, na the one wey be say the people go scatter everywhere you want?
Bros, remember say as the matter dey so, wey everybody body dey hot, all the oyana you dey yarn just dey add fuel to the fire. You nor see werin Boko Haram dem dey do? Why you and your boys nor help us stop them? You nor see say children dey hungry? You nor see say light no dey, dey? You nor see werin dey happen? Bros, just allow people make them vote who them wan vote. Forget matter, we know say you get mouth; we know say you get muscle. We know say you fit beat Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee put together. We know say, if them leave you with cow, only you one fit commot him head with your ordinary hand. But bros, for peace sake, make you calm down.
If for 2015, you come carry your commando dem say make them enter road begin beat and kill people wey no vote for PDP, wetin you go gain? Wetin? Na only you waka come? This country no be for all of us? If person say na APC he wan put hand for, na your business? Why your blood dey hot like this?
Make you do, make you calm down, bros! That year, no be like this we sabi you o? That year, see as every one dey halla, say chai see this man dey fight for the right of Niger delta people; na so-so prayer dey follow am. Everywhere you turn that year, na your name them dey hail. But after you and Obasanjo run that una package na only God come know werin enter your head bros.
Bros, na beg I dey beg you. Look the children wey no get school to go. Look the woman wey no get money to use pay shop rent for make her people for see food chop. No fall hand with this your vex ,vex.
Some people say na mouth you dey. Some others say na you be yeye man, say you nor fit do anything. Bros, me I think say you fit do something. I think say you fit begin reason. I believe say when you enter your room with your men you fit talk to them say make them no come streets begin beat people wey go vote for any party them want. You be the man bros. I hail.
Bros, abeg, if you fit just come out and wash your mouth say nor be you talk all that thing wey dey for television, he for no bad! Again, even the people wey dey show you and report werin you say, them no well. I wish them fit understand wetin them dey do. No mind them bros. Na just say them want make people make comment for them videos and post. Make you nor vex, bros.
This we country must remain. This we country na our own bros. Make you no let am scatter like all those other African country wey be say any small thing fight don happen. Bros, na god I use beg, you make you calm down.
Na me, your brother dey beg you so,
Michael Irene
@moshoke