Sex! The topic we all like to ‘shy away from’ when deep down we really love to hear all of the dirty stories.
As much as we don’t admit it, nobody likes horrible, unpleasable sex. Nope, absolutely nobody. (Unless you’re a robot which in that case, why are you here??)
There are some things we should know (that nobody says) before slipping off our briefs and taking off our bras. It’s like a bro code or girl code.
Take a seat (you will need that) and spare a few minutes cause I’m about to spill all the tea. (Laughs in gossip)
Unspoken Rules About Sex Everyone Should Know
Wash your hands before sex! Wash those hands before digging in for gold! Hygiene is very important. You shouldn’t touch another person (or yourself) with dirty unwashed fingers. That’s just pure evil and disgusting. And one more thing, do not touch or eat spicy foods before going down. Trust me nobody wants to feel that burning sensation, it could ruin everything (except both of y’all are pure freaks!).
Do not lay there like a lifeless body! For god sake do NOT lay there like a dead fish! Get your kinky on. Put some energy into it and burn those calories. Let yourself go! Also note that consent is very important and so if you do not want to or feel comfortable having sex with that person then maybe you shouldn’t be there. Leave at once. Don’t make things more awkward than they may already seem.
Always carry a condom! If he/she says you shouldn’t worry about a condom then you DEFINITELY should because that probably means they do not use a condom with any other person they sleep with. Trust me you do not want to open yourself to the risk of STIs. Shit is Real!! Be safe. Be smart.
Give gentle warnings! Do not slap him/her repeatedly when you’re about to hit the high note. It could be very annoying. Use your voice. A quick “I’m coming” never hurt anyone.
Return the favor! Don’t be a selfish partner. If your partner likes to go down on you, return the favor. This can heighten the mood in several ways. Unless its a hookup and you’re not sure where that dingly dangly has been.
Agree! Silently or verbally agree on positions or moves. If you start up something your partner is not into it could feel like pressure and can dampen the mood. The only exception is when you both like teaching each other new things which in that case be gentle and let them know.
Cut your nails! Guys please get a nail cut before reaching for the stars (and even ladies). You’re dealing with very sensitive parts of the body and sharp nails? Sharp nails are a no-no. Get a clean nail cut.
Acknowledge the funny moments! Sex is somewhat funny. Trying to slip into positions or farting by mistake or making weird noises. When you both acknowledge the funny situations it removes tension from the air.
Let them know! If you want something or like a particular move, ask for it. Let him/her know. Human not alien-mind-reader! Don’t get upset because he/she did not do something you were expecting. No one can read your mind!
Get up and pee! No matter how cuddly or cozy things get. Please get up and pee. This is an important part of sex hygiene.
Find a rhythm! Find a rhythm you both like and dance with it. Not too slow? Not too fast? A little harder? Get into it!
Foreplay is key! This should be on top of the list. Walk before you run. Slowly and steadily get into it. One thing too, don’t be so hard on the nipples – this is another sensitive area and one wrong move can ruin everything.
Come clean! Always have a clean shower/bath before heading for orgasmic meetings. Brush your tongue and teeth. Don’t go whispering shit with bad breath. You will get kicked out!