Ladies Before you Vandalize any DM, Exercise Caution
Funny how a self-acclaimed instagram expert can take a buzzing slogan and try to use it to rewrite the rules of engagement for dating.
Nowadays some are encouraging women to go for what they want and approach men first, and to do the approaching on social media. Now that is a bad idea for a bunch of reasons.
The first compelling reason any woman that does not want to nurse the pangs of heartbreak should consider is by default a lot of people/men do not value what they have not had to pursue.
When I was in college, about 3 women offered to vandalize my penis, I turned them all down, not because they were not attractive or because I did not want to have sex but because I felt I should be the one to decide whom I wanted to have sex with. For a manly man, we like to hunt, to chase and then to be rewarded at the end of the day with the spoils of victory. It is a spoiler when your meal just falls into your lap and says eat me, you begin to wonder if it is some kind of set up.
There are some men who spend months pursuing ladies and as soon as they hit the jackpot, they leave that woman and inherit the title “Yoruba demon”. The man must have spent a fortune wooing you, you fall and then he departs because he has had his taste. Now ask yourself ladies, is that the kind of man that you will vandalize his dm and he will settle down with you? No he may settle down with you for a one night stand but wife material does not slide into the dm uninvited.
Let men do the chasing and as a woman if you have interest, you can leave subtle hints, but remember that in modern dating, entering into someone’s dm unannounced reeks of desperation. Husband material is scarce and as men get older, they realize that they are the prize, not the woman. For every one single man of marriageable age, there are about 3 to 5 single women.
The key to getting hitched is not to announce what many men already know about your ticking biological clock, but to be a woman of value. Have something to bring to the table besides banter or the ability to slay the gram.
Here are a few desirable traits men are looking for:
1. Virtue: a virtuous woman who can find? In these days, it’s getting harder to find a woman who has kept herself for marriage. If you are genuinely one of those ladies, you don’t need to look very hard to find a man willing to treasure you as a life partner.
2. Well educated: its not about being smart enough to come with a witty clapback, but can you engage your partnersmind on several subjects and make him enjoy your company beyond the pretty face, and/or curvy body.
3. Ambitious: some men, especially in this economy, desire a woman who can add value to the bottomline. Do you have good business ideas, a good career or career prospect. If you do, then you don’t need to go jumping around in people’s dm to find love.
4. Homemaker: leave all the feminism banter alone for one second. A lot of good Nigerian men today had mothers that had good careers and were still able to maintain the home. Men are looking for a woman that makes them feel like a man and there is still a place for traditional feminine roles in the home today.
The kind of men a woman has to pursue are not necessarily the alpha males. The alpha male by definition is a go getter. The effeminate men our society is breeding today are the ones seeking equal footing to women and who often spend their time grooming themselves more than even the women, making their hair or beards etc
If you want a man you can share make up tips with, then by all means you may want to start vandalizing dms with immediate effect, but should you desire a man that will cater to you, then maybe you want to just make yourself desirable, and wait for him. Finally ask God sincerely to assist you in your search, because my sister, demons are aplenty.
Joseph writes in from Magodo.