When it rains, use an umbrella to prevent yourself from her torrential whiplash. Also, use an umbrella to protect yourself from the warm embrace of the sun. Do not be in a hurry to conclude, however, that your umbrella cannot be blown out of your hands by gusty winds and the gnawing teeth of a ravenous lightening or generous strokes of thunderbolts. Do not, whatever the case may be, conclude that your umbrella cannot suffer discoloration from excessive showers of the sun’s rays. The weather, always, is unpredictable.
A visitor comes into your house, brings sand into your living room, do not tell the visitor, wait till he/she leaves. It is disrespectful to announce your disgust. After the visitor leaves, sweep your house clean with a broom. To maintain a clean house, it is always advisable to use a broom made from palm fronds. Do not change the broom. Never. But, by all means, do not conclude that this broom cannot bring dirt into your home and also, be careful where you leave it because your neighbour can use it for shitty escapades.
Once upon a time, there lived a man who used to wear only khaki uniforms. He loved to use the broom to clean dirt in his environment; he used the broom to whip unwanted visitors; and he also used it to kill cockroaches. The man was very strong. The man was later kicked out of his rocky environment and he retired into a private house and no one heard of him again. After so many years of silence, he re-emerged, only this time, standing under an umbrella held by a motor park tout. People screamed: “this man that used to whip us with broom, how are we sure that he would not stab us with this umbrella.” His reply: “I now where an àgbàdá, I was blind but now I can see.” The people hailed him. Everywhere, they placed his pictures on walls, t-shirts and everywhere. The people forgot to notice the tout holding the umbrella. But not everyone loves this man under the umbrella.
In another town, there lived a man who wields his broom like a sword. He uses it to kill flies sent by enemies, clean his house and was generous enough to make more brooms for his colleagues to defend his broom factory. When the man waves his broom, some men and women lose their senses and bow to him. Just with a wave of broom, his clansmen can tell you how the house remains clean without sweeping. When this broom man speaks some people say: “Ha! This one is our saviour. He will lead us to the promise land.” His reply is: “The things I can do, no one can do it. As long as I have this broom in my hand, this land will remain clean.” So strong is this man that people cannot see the dirt around.
The people cannot do without an umbrella or the broom. You need one to protect you from the rain and you need the broom to maintain cleanliness in your house. Truly, they know that these instruments cannot guarantee a steady life. The people then came together and asked “how can use these instruments to have a better life?” One man suggested that they went to the oracle to confirm which is more important, the broom or the umbrella or, if they could use the two? They walked for about six thousand miles to meet the oracle.
It was rumoured that as the people journeyed to the oracle, they began to argue and fight amongst themselves, which would later lead to deaths and injury. In the space created by the oracle, letters, words, and spits clashed daily. The people remain divided. In division, they continued their journey and the result they got from the oracle only confused them the more.
The oracle, after eating seventy-seven alligator pepper and drinking forty-four gallons of palm wine and quickly checking for update from his twitter bird, gave them a chilling reply, “Whatever you use or choose, you cannot win.”
The people shouted. Cursed the oracle for drinking their fresh palmwine and eating their peppers.
The oracle, again, announced: “Umbrella or broom, you cannot get your wish.”
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