Over the course of our lives, most of us will date a mix of people, good people, bad people, good people who make bad decisions.
Maybe you won’t date anyone. In which case, I applaud your wise restraint. But this article is not for you.
This is for those of us learning to identify the people who do or do not belong in our lives — and sometimes it takes lots of mistakes to figure that out.
Here are seven types of Nigerian men you should avoid like a plague
The Emotional Manipulator
This person uses your feelings against you. No matter the situation, the blame for every relationship issue falls to you. You could have plans to meet, be standing out in the cold and rain waiting for two hours and it is somehow you who misunderstood their needs.
Everything they say and do is designed to make you feel insecure and fearful that they might leave you, so you are constantly apologizing and feeling like you are in the wrong. You are not. But you are with the wrong person.
The One Who Is So Nice (or Seemingly So Feminist)
When someone claims they are “nice,” run in the opposite direction. Anyone who is truly nice won’t need to announce it.
Especially in a fit of rage as you tell them you’re not interested in them. The worst combo I’ve encountered is a man who insists he’s a nice guy feminist. Again, this is not a label that needs to be screamed; if you are one, it will be evident in your behavior or else, he is just a guy waiting to hook you and squeeze you.
The One Who Is Obsessed With Their Ex
There’s nothing more irritating than constantly being compared to an ex. “My ex always did this.” Sometimes I think it’s because they were the one dumped.
Sometimes it’s residual feelings. Sometimes they haven’t had that many relationships, and they only know how to keep analyzing things side by side with the last person in their life. But always being pitted against (the memory of!) another person is tiresome. Next!
The One Obsessed With Settling Down
These people are so focused on the end-game that they’re missing all the fun casual, getting-to-know-you stuff, which is important and exciting.
Someone who rushes to get into a serious relationship, I’ve found, has made up their mind where things are going instead of letting … things … happen. With a person like this, I had to ask myself: “Are they even listening to me?” (No.) “Am I just a space-filler?” (Yes.) Settling down can’t be forced. It’s a joint decision.
The Person Who Thinks Marriage Is a Trap
Marriage is a trap and THEY WILL NOT BE TRAPPED, okay? Their refrains — “Why is everyone in such a rush to get married?” and “I’m not looking for anything serious” — make you think twice about even wearing a white sundress, lest they think you’re dropping a hint.
Sure, they’ll tell you that “everyone who gets married is unhappy,” but don’t be surprised when they get engaged to the person they date right after you.
The One Who Wants You to Be a Mind Reader
They expect you to know their thoughts even before they think it. “You know I like Fufu,’ but how can I know you like Fufu when you didn’t tell me.
Abeg, run, these type of guys are impossible to please.
The Secret Traditionalist
Publicly declaring that women can do anything, while you privately maintain they should stay home, raise children and clean the house?
No, thanks. An ex-boyfriend of mine used to proudly boast of my professional exploits, saying I was on my way to conquering the world. But when we talked marriage and kids, he insisted that I would take on a traditional role and put aside my ambitions for the sake of our future children.