It’s no secret that long distance relationships are difficult. They tend to collapse under the weight of constant Skyping and mounting recharge card debt.
Lots of them also fail for the same reasons no-distance relationships fail. Sure, there are couples who make long distance work, but they are rare.
If you’re learning that absence makes the heart grow fonder the hard way, and wondering why your bi-coastal romance is going failing, you’re not alone. Here are five reasons Why Long Distance Relationships is hard to work
Communication Feels Like A Burden
The first thing that many couples do when attempting long distance is to set up a rigorous communication schedule.
Suddenly, you’ve committed to talking on the phone every morning, chatting through lunch, and skyping every night. Before you lay down a rigid chatting schedule, remind yourself how often you saw each other when you were in the same place.
Most couples that don’t live together don’t see each other every day. Even if they do, it isn’t often at the same time and in the same way. You’ll likely feel the impulse to maximize communication as a way to strengthen your relationship; fight this impulse. Doing what you think you’re supposed to do rather than what both partners want to do is a great way to ruin a relationship.
You Aren’t Willing to Sacrifice For Each Other
In the twenty-first century, many couples include two career-minded, driven individuals. If your goals are pulling you in different directions, eventually one person is going to have to sacrifice for the other, or the relationship will end.
Long distance relationships involve a lot of little sacrifices of your time and money over time. Before you commit thousands of naira to a relationship, it might be a good idea to make sure that you’re both seeing the same end game.
Your Environment Changes You
We are loathe to admit it, but our environment changes us. No matter how much we would like to think that we are each unique, we are continue to be a product of our little corner of the world.
As we go out into the wider world, as we move to urban areas, go off to university, or joined the military, our values and world view change. In some cases, your conservative world view changed as your partner’s stayed the same.
It isn’t that a house and 2 kids isn’t a fine dream. In fact, it continues to work out for a lot of people. But, if the dreams of one partner change, the relationship has to change as a result, or maybe even come to an end.
Financial Strain
Love ain’t cheap. Even if you only live a few hours away from your partner, someone is going be money every time you want to see each other. The larger the distance, of course, the larger the transportation bill.
Work time lost travelling can be a problem as well. If every other weekend is spent travelling to see each other, you could be missing out on side money, networking, or career development opportunities. It may feel crass to think about the cost of love, but we live in the real world, and in the real world you have to pay your rent.
Not Having Sex can be Frustrating
This is the elephant in the room, right? Everybody likes to have sex as often as possible, biological limitations not withstanding.
There are plenty of ways to address the issue of sex, but no matter how you’re going to handle it, you have to talk about it.
Some couples employ a don’t ask don’t tell policy while they’re separated. Many couples aren’t down with that, and decide to get by with phone sexand marathon sexcapades on those rare moments when they are together.
There is no right or wrong answer as long as you’re honest with yourself. Just don’t agree to something you aren’t comfortable with and then get angry when things play out exactly as you and your partner decides they would.