Marrying your best friend seems like a really exciting idea. It is one of those things you dream about in high school, read about in books and watch in movies. However, there are those who are sick of it. These are the kind of people who say that marrying your best friend is like a settlement you are making because you couldn’t do any better. While they may not be entirely right about this (because there are times when people genuinely fall in love with their best friend), nobody can deny the fact that most such marriages keep you hanging in the middle, where you lose the best friend you had and never gain the lover you want to have. Here are some of the reasons why marrying your best friend is not exactly a great idea.
1. The relationship becomes stagnant
Yes, best friends are great when it comes to understanding and patience. But when it comes to lifelong companionship, you need someone more mature. You need someone who grows and evolves with you, and discovers new things about you each day. The kind of challenges that marriages throw at people, especially with financial matters and kids are not the kinds that can be solved with a person whom you consider a best buddy. That’s because best buddies sometimes think of crazy things or want to take decisions together, but marriages mean mature decisions and sometimes one person taking charge rather than the other.
2. A spouse shouldn’t always know everything
While it’s important to share important things about your past and present with your life partner, you can’t tell him or her just about everything that you tell your best friend. If you end up marrying your best friend, then he will know everything about your past ranging from your flings to college failures and a lot more. And sometimes, you need a break from being reminded about such embarrassing things, which can only happen when you marry someone who doesn’t know these details. It’s as good as saying that there are times when we want to hide a certain part of ourselves, and it’s not possible to do that with a best friend as a spouse.
3. You’ll take each other for granted
We get angry at each other as friends when they miss out on a birthday party or are late to some other important occasions. And then forgive them quickly too. But if they continue to do that even after marriage, then it becomes a problem. A marriage brings about some unspoken decorum and rules in the house and the relationship, and for a person who has known you too well since long, it’s easy to take each other for granted. Soon after, many such incidents might cause unnecessary fights and arguments.
4. Sex is awkward
Sex often changes a lot of things between two people. You are your usual casual self with your best friend, and then one fine day, you get married and want to have sex. That brings in weird body issues, affects the sex position politics, and brings in too many awkward moments to handle. Why face such awkwardness for the rest of your life when you can actually build things fresh and enjoy them blissfully with a new person?
5. You will lose a shoulder to cry on
What we often forget is that marriages bring problems. And when we face those problems with a partner, we run to our best friend for advice. But when we face those problems with our best friend as our partner, then we don’t really have anyone to run to. So we end up losing that only shoulder to lean on. We expect our partner to be more understanding, but forget the fact that he was probably always like this, and we never judged them properly because there were never too many complicated challenges during the friendship phase to deal with.
Before you end up cursing yourself for marrying your best friend, think over it again and again. Take time to figure out your exact feelings for that person. Just because you are compatible with a person doesn’t mean that love will build on its own. Sometimes love overpowers incompatibility issues too and is required to sustain a marriage. If you marry your best friend, then chances are that you will experience a lack of romance and will probably never be able to mature romantically or otherwise in the relationship. Life is not just about sharing joy, but also about sharing sadness and taking equal responsibility during tough times. See if your best friend can be a good partner, and only then should you take the leap. Otherwise, it may be the biggest compromise you will end up making.