We all know this woman well. She’s your man’s co-worker, a neighbor, one of his “homegirls” or even one of your girlfriends. She appears friendly and genuine at first, but most of us can see her for what she really is – a woman plotting on your man. She’s biding her time, waiting for you to mess up or for your man to display a moment of weakness before she makes her move. She watches him, studies him and tries to formulate a plan to get close to your man.
I know what you’re thinking – she can’t steal a man unless he allows himself to be stolen. This is true. Men can make their own decisions and if they fall victim to a woman who is looking to get at them, good riddance – you don’t want that man anyway. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t guard your relationship against the women out there who are looking to destroy your relationship based on their own selfish needs. These women are not who they appear to be on the outside, and your man be even be oblivious to her wicked ways and think that her “interest” is simply platonic. Not sure if this woman is trying to steal your man? Watch out for these keys signs that she just might be a buzzard circling her prey.
1. SHE WANTS TO BE HIS FRIEND, NOT YOURS
Most men and women have friends of the opposite sex whom they’ve known long before they met you. While I’d never suggest you worry about childhood friends or buddies from college, “new” friends are more apt to be on your radar since you may feel your man has enough friends already. There’s nothing wrong with your man making new female friends, but it’s something totally different if she has no interest in getting to know you. If he makes it known that he’s married or in a relationship, yet the new friend doesn’t want to meet or acknowledge you, then something is up. If she doesn’t want to get to know you, then your man shouldn’t want to get to know HER. Period.
2. SHE’S TOO FRIENDLY WITH YOU
On the flip side, a woman who is TOO eager to get to know you could be up to no good. While you may think she’s just being overly friendly, she could be trying to throw you off her scent so that you don’t suspect anything. By being extra chummy with you, she’s hoping you won’t think it’s weird when she asks personal questions about him or when she always seems to “bump into him” by accident. She could simply be using you to get close to him, so watch out for this new “friend” who’s creeping up in your backyard. She should want to get to know you, but not be your best friend.
3. SHE’S ALWAYS COMPLIMENTING HIM
Ahhh, flattery – it’s the easiest way to suck a man in. Everyone, man or woman, wants to feel special and by complimenting your man every chance she gets, he will naturally assume that she not only finds him attractive, but that she wants him sexually too. Most men just want to know that they still got it, so hopefully he’ll just accept the compliments and keep it moving. But if he’s weak, she may assess his insecurities and become his personal cheerleader, making you look like you don’t appreciate him the way that she does. This woman will try to give him what she thinks you don’t: attention and praise. Watch out for groupies – they know how to play their cards well.
4. THEY’RE SOCIAL MEDIA “BUDDIES”
If this woman is constantly stalking his Facebook or Twitter page, “liking” all of his photos (except the ones that contain the BOTH of you), keep a close eye on her. If your partner spends an excessive amount of time on social networking sites, observe whether this woman is always on there “keeping him company” or if she’s the reason he’s on them so much in the first place. Social media may seem innocent because it’s all about “friends,” and he may not feel that you have anything to worry about if his page is public. But if you notice that their contact is frequent and flirtatious, it may be time to have a talk with him about blocking her if she crosses the line.
5. LATE NIGHT CALLS/TEXTS
Whether she’s an old friend or a new one, there is no reason any woman should be calling him at hours of the early morning or late night unless someone is on fire. Same goes for text messages – and this is assuming your man is telling you that this woman is calling or texting him at inappropriate times. If you “discover” these texts or calls, the suspicion then falls on him for not being forthcoming about what this chick is doing since he’s clearly entertaining her. But if he tells you that she’s calling or texting him late, leave it for him to handle. If he doesn’t, bounce him because he’s allowing it for a reason.
6. SHE FINDS REASONS TO “NEED” HIM
This woman is the “damsel in distress” who always needs your man to come change a light bulb, kill a spider or scare away the boogie man. She needs her toilet unclogged or her tire fixed and he seems to be the ONLY man she knows who can ever come to help her. The truth is she’s trying to find a reason to be alone with him while fulfilling a man’s desire to feel needed. She doesn’t care that he has a wife or a girlfriend at home and that she’s taking him away from her. As a matter of fact, she probably likes him more because he’s already in a relationship. Men who are taken always seem more attractive to women like this…and even though he belongs to you, she “needs” him too.
7. SHE DOES ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR HIM
She’s his personal chef, his personal assistant, his maid, his mama and his best friend –and she is totally at his disposal. She makes him soup when he’s sick, picks up his dry cleaning, walks his dog and does everything for him that a “girlfriend” would do…even though he has a girlfriend already. She claims to do all of this because she’s his “friend” – but what she’s really doing is trying to show you up. She doesn’t have respect for boundaries and it’s up to your man to shut it down if he knows what’s good for him. The only person who should be taking care of him is you (or him because he is a grown man) so don’t let this other woman pretend to be a better partner for him than you are. If she’s truly his friend, she’ll know when to fall back and let his girlfriend be there for him.
8. SHE’S TOUCHY-FEELY
This one is kind of obvious, but any woman who always finds a reason to touch your man can’t be trusted. If she’s always trying to sit next to him when you all are out, touches his arm and laughs hysterically when he tells a joke or hugs him just a tad too long, this witch is plotting. While you may think that she’s just flirtatious or that always putting her hands on him is innocent, she could be subconsciously sending him a message that touching him is her way of letting him know that she’s sexually available.
9. SHE BEFRIENDS HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY
If she’s a friend from childhood, then it stands to reason that she knows his friends and family too. But if she’s a “new” friend and is all of a sudden hanging out with his sisters or taking his mother to church – things you don’t even do – there’s something going on or this chick is a stalker. She knows his dad’s birthday, comes over to watch the game with him and his boys and is always trying to insert herself in friendships/relationships that are usually reserved for his significant other. If this is a woman you know, she’s trying to replace you. Most women like this thrive on what they perceive to be an unspoken competition with other women – and she gets a thrill out of knowing that she’s in with the family and can easily take your man if she wants to.
10. SHE IS HIS SHOULDER TO CRY ON
Be careful of the woman who always seems to be the one he calls when you and your man have a fight, because she may secretly be hoping that he gets over you…with her. This is the woman who will smile in your face, but encourage every complaint he has about you when he’s angry – and will convince him that he’s better off without you and that she would “never hurt him” the way that you did. Next thing you know, in a moment of vulnerability, she’ll “comfort” him when he needs someone most – even if he had no intentions of ever sleeping with her. After all, if she has an intimate knowledge of him because he shares all of his business about you two to her, then she has all the information she needs to break down his defenses to her own advantage. If she’s selfish, she’ll pounce on him when he’s at his weakest, so watch out who your man makes himself vulnerable to.